Psalm 13

 Song by Nate Hale

How long, O Lord, will You forget me forever?
How long, O Lord, will You hide your face from me?
Long enough, long enough, have I carried this load of sorrow.
Long enough, long enough, have I lived with this heart full of pain.

 I want to look life in the eye.
I’m tired of falling down on my face.
I’m throwing myself into Your loving arms
And now it’s time to celebrate
Your rescue…

 So, I will sing at the top of my lungs.
Yes, I will sing of Your unfailing love.
For You have delivered me
From the worst of my enemies.
So, I will sing to the Lord

For He has been good to me.

These words have rung true throughout my life in countless ways.  In my college days at Lipscomb every Thursday night was Sanctuary where a couple hundred students would gather to worship our Lord through singing. A fellow student wrote Psalm 13 into a song. It changed my life. I didn’t know before that point, worship in song could envelope your entire soul. You could feel what the Lord has done for you in every cell and the only way to express the feeling was to sing at the top of your lungs.  At 20 years of age I knew God was good because He had freed me from an abusive father and allowed me to know the love of a righteous man in my relationship with Marcus. I knew the Lord had delivered me.

Flash forward 3 years, I’m alone in a little (so little) apartment in New York City. I am screaming Psalm 13 at the top of my lungs while tears stream down my face. We had just moved to NYC and my husband, Marcus, left for two months for a job. I felt crushed by the pain of loneliness and vastness of the great city. I didn’t think anyone saw me. While singing Psalm 13 I knew God saw me and His loving arms would sustain me because He had been so good to me in the past. In just a few months my husband would return and I would not be alone.

Another 3 years go by, it is the day of my husband’s funeral. I ask a friend to play Psalm 13. I didn’t want to hear it. This time I cannot even open my mouth while the tears stream down my face. Though I can’t imagine or even want the Father’s rescue, I need to be reminded of the truth of Psalm 13.

He has been good to me.

I was abused. I was lonely. I am a widow.

He has been good to me.

Now 3 short, but oh so long, years later, I can sing with my arms wide open, at the top of my lungs of His unfailing love. I can look life in the eyes – all the pain and suffering – and rejoice in my God’s goodness. He has delivered me from the worst of my enemies - an abuser, the lies of loneliness, and even death, especially death. The death of Marcus is not the end of our story. Because Christ died on a cross, suffering a death we deserved so that what happens here isn’t the end of the story. It doesn’t even come close to the best part of the story. We can have a relationship with our steadfast, loving deliverer during our time on earth. Then the things of this earth will pass away and our relationship with our creator will be complete and perfect.

He has been so good to me. Now let’s celebrate.