He is alive

I love Easter. Joy is over pouring in my heart.  I will laugh and cry through this whole weekend because I can't keep it in. This is a new celebration in my life since the death of Marcus that is best explained through a journal entry written on the first Easter after his passing.

4-23-2011

“Yesterday was 6 months. I could not explain the journey of these six months. Treacherous. Awful. Painful. Lonely. Angry. Confused. But today, tonight hopeful. Grateful. For I had and have the love of a man that was worthy of my love. We were it. What people dream about, write songs about, pay money to watch movies about, get together and then divorce about. I experienced it with the love of my life.

He is alive with our Lord. I feel that in my soul. The Lord has given us a precious gift. He has saved us from what we deserved, eternal separation. But the Lord sacrificed His son that we may have eternal life. Tomorrow we will celebrate the Lord’s Resurrection and our ultimate eternal life with Him because of it. As I write it, it sounds crazy in this world we live in, but it doesn't make it any less true.

Marcus wrote a poem a couple months before he left me. In which he writes all these wants. To swim in far oceans, see nature unknown, sing without reproach of his horrible voice. Wants that I imagine can be experienced in Heaven. To experience God’s kingdom in all its glory and beauty. If he is not experiencing it now he will when the Jesus returns and this earth is made anew.

He also talks about his needs:

I have many wants

To who do I need to be

I need to be chord playing an instrument

in God’s eternal symphony

I need to seek God

Love, care and lead my wife

Build up and support my friends

Seek my family

Love my city

Wants are to moments of random

Needs must be met

I pray God will meet my needs

To love, to life, until death

If God is in life

He will be in death.

Death is as natural as the sun rising

Death is unstopped and needed.

I was reading it tonight and realized God did meet his needs. He is an instrument in God’s eternal symphony. God is in death. Marcus did not feel death’s sting. I praise you Lord for meeting his needs. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

Every Easter I get to celebrate the Good News that our Lord is alive, He is risen! With that truth, our loved ones are alive and one day we will be reunited with them. 

In the poem, Marcus also confessed sin that he wanted to be freed from. Praise God he is free. Our Lord has transformed him into a new creation. One day we also we will be fully and completely free from the bondage of sin and suffering – until then Easter gives us hope that on this earth He continues to transform us daily. “…we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.“